Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Charter Communications (sigh)

Why it matters: Because it happened to me. I doubt I'm alone.

“Competition is not only the basis of protection to the consumer, but is the incentive to progress.”
- Herbert Hoover

It is not news to anyone that lives here that Gilroy and Hollister residents have crappy cable service. The crappiness of our service is multi-generational. Grandkids that grew up with crappy service are having kids that must endure crappy service.

Notice I said "must." More on that in a minute.

This morning while I was on deadline for a project my Internet access went out. I called tech support, which made me speak to a machine that required three attempts to understand that I wanted tech support (if you don't invest in good software, it's only your customers that suffer.) Then a recording came on indicating that there were "intermittent outages" and that Charter's technicians were working on the problem.

Life happens. Squirrels chew through cable. My acceptance was laudable.

A couple of hours pass and still no service. "Who are their technicians? Larry, Curly and Moe?" I mumbled to myself. I called back. This time I demand a human. Oddly enough the voice recognition software understood "Give me a fucking service tech!" I felt guilty. I was a little over the top, but a) I was facing a deadline and b) it worked. A very nice tech came on the phone, and within 60 seconds her and I discovered that the problem was not intermittent outages, but in fact Charter had "suspended" my service because our payment hadn't been made.

I asked the lovely voiced tech to hold while I bolted upstairs, tripping over my Lab mix on the way, to retrieve my bill. Now this in itself was an act of stupidity, as we don't have a landline and I ran upstairs and then down again with my cell phone in my hand. Somehow I needed to talk to her while I was downstairs. No, I don't know why. Hmm, there it was, in black on a white background, "Due date 07/15/10." Today was the 14th. A familiar emotion was coming over me I like to call the "Charter Burn." I become flushed, my blood pressure spikes, and Opus, the Lab mix, instinctively retreats to the back patio.

"But it's not due until tomorrow," I plead.
"Yes, I see that. Can I transfer you to the billing department?"
"No, I think I'll mosey down to the Charter office." I like to see Charter customer service folks' eyes dilate when they realize that there is no logical answer to a customer's dilemma.

A pleasant-looking young man greeted me, and I explained I had two questions: a) (I actually do talk that way; it drives my wife crazy) I want to know why I wasn't warned my Internet service was about to be "suspended" (thank god I wasn't being expelled). And b) why was it suspended a day before it was due?

"Because we are based on a daily delinquent cycle," the lad replied.
"OK, fair enough, whatever that means, but back to the question at hand, why was my Internet suspended when the bill wasn't due until tomorrow?" I asked again.
"A portion of your bill is (40-something days late)."
"A portion?"
"Yes," the kid said. "I show that $39 (can't recall the cents) of the amount due is delinquent." (First I was suspended and now I'm a delinquent. Sigh.)
"You mean it would have been delinquent had I not paid my bill by tomorrow's due date, right?"
"No, that part is delinquent."
"Look young man (that's another thing my wife hates; says I remind her of her father), I know Charter pays you enormous amounts of money to sit out here and be the punching bag for irate customers while your manager sits back there (I point to the blast-proof wall behind him) and, I don't know, fills out employee schedules or something, but you're not answering my question."

He begins laughing. Hard. I suspect his manager was in fact filling out employee schedules.

I look into his eyes, and see his helplessness. I can see he's in over his head on how to explain to Papa Taylor that a nameless, faceless cog that's probably out on the golf course right now makes up the rules, not him. I decide he's earned triple the pathetic pay he's actually getting, as there are doubtless 20 more of me on their way in to make his day just ducky. I smile at him, give him my check, and wish him a good day, knowing full well it won't be.

I became reflective on the way home, wondering how American businesses have strayed so far afield in the area of customer service. Charter is merely a microcosm. Then it dawned on me. Because they can.

I don't have the ability to fire Charter and hire Comcast. Our elected officials, who take enormous sums of money from companies like Charter, made sure that only one company can provide service to one area. Nice. Don't you wish your business could be granted that perk? I decided to take a look. Charter donated more than $180,000 to its Political Action Committee in 2008, and more than $53,000 more during the 2010 cycle. Its PAC then distributed that cash 58 times to the election committees of a few dozen House members and U.S. Senators during the '08 cycle. Charter is an equal opportunity vote buyer. Roughly, equal numbers of Republicans took the company's money as did Democrats.

How much influence do you think you bought with your $20 donation?

About the Gilroy Post: http://gilroypost.blogspot.com/2010/07/why-blog-about-south-county.html
Take a look yourself: http://www.campaignmoney.com/political/committees/charter-communications-inc-political-action-committee.asp?cycle=08
Employee relations: http://www.tradingmarkets.com/news/stock-alert/ccmm_brief-charter-pays-18-million-to-settle-suit-978729.html
Bankruptcy: http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/30/charter-emerges-from-bankruptcy/

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